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Battling Quarter Life Crisis and More.

And so, let’s just say I am trying to be fine despite all the odds and eccentrities of my life. I am not really exaggerating for the nth time. I apologize for being such a dope today.

I have come to realized that I am indeed suffering from quarter life crisis. It’s not like other crisis you know such as inflation rate resulting to economic crisis or you not having the budget to buy luxury items and declare to the world that you are suffering from financial crisis, it’s the kind of crisis that affect those twenty something people wondering on their “what’s next?” in life.

I guess I am normal since I am going through this phase of my life. I feel a little shitty, honestly. I just don’t know what to do with my life aside of course from YOLO-ing since 23 and just going with the flow but this come what may kind of life is not really the life I want to live. I want more out of it. I recently got my Master’s degree in Business Administration and I should be proud of it since I was able to juggle my work and school but I just feel fine about it, no biggie while others are screaming “Congratulations!”. Should I really be proud? I don’t think so. I am plainly weird because I don’t like any fuss and I don’t like bragging those little milestones in my life. I just hate too much attention.

Anyways, let’s go back to this quarter life crisis thing. Let me share to you an article I stumbled upon after I crazily googled quarter life crisis. It’s found on this website: http://allgroanup.com/adult/25-signs-quarter-life-crisis/

I want to comment on each signs. Here you go:

25 Signs You are Having a Quarter Life Crisis

1.  You glare at your cat in the morning as you get ready for work and say, “God, I wish I had your life.” — I even say it to any animals who just simply chill and not worrying about bills and finances. Geez, go get a job cat and realized how miserable life can be.2.  “Am I ever going to feel like myself again?” Is something you ask. Every day. — EVERY SINGLE DAY! I apologize for screaming but I can relate to this, I usually ask myself if I’ll be able to feel alive again, you know sunshiney – happy – full of daisies kind of me. 

3.  A Bon Iver or John Mayer song comes on and you start crying. By yourself, or around friends. Or in the middle of a coffee shop as strangers slowly usher their children away. — Any song that I can totally relate to, I cry privately. 

4.  “When is life going to feel like it’s supposed to?” Is something you ask. Every day. — When will I be totally happy? Again… sunshiney-happy-full-of-daisies kind of me. 

5.  You’re reading this article right now because you Googled: “Quarter Life Crisis?” — OH SHIT!

6.  Visualizing yourself 15 years from now doing your bosses job makes you throw up a little in your mouth. — This is so true.

7.  You’re having arguments with your mom again about cleaning your bathroom and being home at a reasonable hour. — No arguments, it’s just me battling my patience because my mom seems to be affected by old age. It scares me a lot knowing I might lose her one day and I’ll be alone. 

8.  Your monthly routine of expenses being greater than your income is dawning on you as a serious problem. — Tell me more about it. 

9.  You’re having arguments with your newly cemented spouse and/or roommate that sound awfully like the arguments your parents used to have, that you swore you’d never have, yet are having. — Cannot relate to this.

10. You’ve moved six times in the last four years.

B.  You’ve had six jobs in the last four years.

C.  You’ve had six boyfriends in the last four years.

D.  You’ve had six girlfriends in the last four years.

E.  You’ve had no boyfriends/girlfriends in the last six years and you’re scared your boyfriending orgirlfriending is broken. —– I’ll be forever alone with 8 cats and 5 dogs. 

11.  You’d pay top dollar for a moment of clarity. — I am willing to pay thousand bucks just for me to be able to see the path that will lead me to happiness and fulfillment.

12.  That young mom with the crazy hair and stains on her shirt and bags under her eyes that kind of smells like rotten milk who you rolled your eyes at throughout college. Yeah, well you roll your stroller into a coffee shop after waking up six times with your baby and see a college girl look you up and down with that same disgust. And it takes everything within you not to walk over to that snooty college princess and punch her in the face. — Oh God, NOOOO! I think I’ll be single forever even if I adore kids.

13.  Your part-time, temporary job at Starbucks has lasted three and ½ years. — I haven’t had the chance to work in Starbucks but I would love too…

14.  You binge on buying brand names to try and cover up that you’re broke. — I am still not into mainstream but I do buy stuff even if I am broke.

15.  You find yourself repelled and compelled by church at the same time. You ask God for help one day and then you’re yelling at him the next. Your faith is a roller coaster and you’re pretty sure your seat belt is about to come undone. — I am so sorry God, I am such a stubborn brat. 

16.  You see so clearly the two roads in front of you. A life of comfort and a life of risk. And you’re not sure you have the right car or directions to go down either one. — Indeed.

17.  You surf the internet so much at work every day that you literally hit a point where you don’t know what else to search for. — AMEN TO THIS. Life at work sometimes bore me.

18.  You laughed, and cried, when you read 21 Secrets for your 20’s. —GEEZ.

19.  Making a budget is completely debilitating.

Even thinking about doing your taxes. Debilitating.

Buying groceries. Debilitating.

Doing dishes. Cooking dinner. Looking for a job. Calling your mom back. Calling your best friend back. Picking up the phone at all. DEBILI-FRICKING-TATING.

So you watch four seasons in a row of _________, while Facebook stalking exes and enemies. — You bet. I rather do the FB stalking and read through blogs of my friends and enemies. My finances make me sick.

20.  The phrase you dread hearing the most at work is, “Congratulations, you’re getting a promotion.” — Oh my!

21.  You feel like every time you’re a bridesmaid/groomsman, an angel loses it’s wings. — I KNOW RIGHT?!!! I am saying hi to my spinster self all over again and cry over their beautiful vows. Life is sooooo damn unfair.

22.  You dream about going back and punching yourSmug-College-Self who was so sure had all the answers. — True. Just when you thought life is so easy huh? Well, IT IS NOT. IT’S NOT!!! It’s damn  not!!!! wooooozah!!!!

23.  You seek out a mentor for answers one week and you avoid them like the 8th grader with bad BO, the next. — Grrr… damn right, this list is so damn right.

24.  You have no idea where to go for answers. — damn right again!

Yet

25. You’re 99.7% sure a road-trip would fix everything. — DEFINITELY… but where to old soul, where to?

So here I go again, I am constantly battling this life crisis without knowing the actual answers on how to resolve such phase. I have a good paying and stable job. I got my degree in Masters in Business Administration. I am single and I am hating it even if I have personal space issues. I don’t know how to overcome my life problems. Oh God, help me out here!

Sighs… and more sighs.

23, journal, life, Life Blog

Wednesday Thoughts

“There is no such thing as failure just postponed success. ”

It was an excerpt on an article I read in Manila Bulletin regarding life’s purpose. It’s a mere sentence that summed up my thoughts with regard to my dilemma or should I say symptoms of quarter life crisis that is now taking its toll.

If you’re an avid follower of my blog which I supposed you’re not (haha) you’ll find my previous posts a little dramatic which of course is not really intended because those were just my thoughts poured into this electronic sheet of paper waiting to be published in a world where everyone has access to it — wow.

I am what I write so before I get drowned with my blabs let me share my thoughts about my life.

Nothing has changed still. I’m still lost and stuck with no better choices to choose from. I still have my sanity despite the problems I need to face at home and my career frustrations. Since yesterday, I’ve been thinking about how I managed my life. My grades last semester was actually a huge surprised. I don’t know if it’s pure luck or indeed a product of hardwork. I realized that I fell .1 shorter in nailing the president’s list — an award given to students who have no grades below 1.0. I’m not really competing nor dying to get that award because my main goal is to simply pass but then again I was almost there. I’m still happy with the results.

There was a point I doubted myself and my worth. Thanks of course to the company I’m currently working. I’ve given my best before but it seems that all those potentials were just put into waste. From then on I no longer believed that hardwork and intelligence do equate success. It’s how you play the game according to their rules. Oh well.

Anyways, I came to realized that where I am right now is not able to make use of my potentials. I’m so excited to channel myself to a job where my opinions matter and that I’ll be the game master. I’ve plans and I know how hard I work for my goals and for my people. When I mean business , I mean business. I may demand a lot but I make sure it’s reasonable. Whether you’re my friend or not or whether you’re hot or not, if you don’t meet what is expected then I’m sorry. It’s how I work.and I miss my old, busy and stress self.

Oh well.

I’ve considered myself a good player still abiding the rules no matter how stupid the game can be sometimes. Where I am right now and the dilemmas I’ve been facing is just part of a greater plan. I am currently not a failure. Success is waiting and I’m in the mood to chase it.

Life! 🙂