personal

Attachments

I hate being attached to a place, event, memories and people. I have been too emotional in dealing with separation and will take me days to fully recover. I don’t understand why but it’s just how I am. No matter how strong, ruthless and independent I can be, I still fall for memories. I appreciate people who puts in a lot of effort to know and stick with me. Sometimes I fear losing them but I still lose people along the way, I’m still alive but broken. To sum up my thoughts for tonight, lemme write a poem. 

Just in Time


You didn’t come in crashing waves

but you walk in like a theft

Broke the bricks one built for years

and let the sun shine through the cracks of disbelief. 


The pain disappeared as time passes 

Cold nights became a place of solace

To trust time is such a great risk

so as to believe once again


The future did promise uncertainties 

and today seems to be a game of madness 

where the past became a lesson

and the present is full of wonder and misery


The verge of the cliff is enticing 

and my heart wanted to jump once again

I wanted to love the process

I really do. 


What’s in store for me is still a mystery

and the crash might end what’s left

The fall has no assurance of life 

after a series of death. 


In this parallel world,

not all are meant to last.

I have walked into the storm already

and I have no plans of coming back. 



S. C. L. 


personal

Paglaya



Hindi mabilang na buntong hininga
Tuwing maalala ang nakaraan
Kinubling kasiyahan at katotohanan
Dahil tayo ay suntok sa buwan

Pilit kong tinakbuhan
Sarili’y nagbalat kayo
Himig nitong puso’y tinago
Baka tayo pa ay magbago

Namulat sa realidad
Na walang ako, walang ikaw
Higit sa lahat walang tayo
Kahit hilingin ko man ito sa bituin

Tadhanang mapaglaro
Damdaming hindi mabiro
Umasang baka sa paghintay
Hiling ay matupad kahit papano

Araw at buwan lumipas
Hindi ko inakalang nabulag
Ang puso kong puno ng lumbay
Mundo na nawalan ng kulay

Mata’y minulat
Katotohanang dinilat
Pinalaya ang sariling nabaon
Sa pag-ibig na nilipasan ng panahon

Sa aking paglaya ngayon
Binuo ako ulit ng pagkakataon
Bukas ay haharapin
Sarili’y unting unting babangon.

-S.C.L.

personal

Space.Β 

It’s been a while since the last time I wrote a poem… 

As I walked away from my thoughts, 

My heart held our memories so tight

and my eyes flooded with pain. 

It was a sober moment with my pent up feelings. 

Enough, said my mind. 

I gripped all of what we have, both good and bad. 

The longer I clasped on each shards of moments we have, 

the more I bleed until I had nothing left. 

Years gone by, I now become a monster of my own past. 

I contemplated several times and waited for a moment that will never happen. 

I looked at how great I was yet clouded by my own weaknesses. 

Gone are the days when I thought of time as my best friend and fate as my mentor. 

The stone may not be casted yet but I’ve decided to quit. 

The battle ended, nobody won except I lose myself in the process of loving you.

I opened my soul to the world full of options. 

I walked away from the raging storm I created after several years of horrendous hopes. 

With bare feet, I rushed away. 

Swiftly. 

The space between my old selves marked my own maturity. 

I freed thyself from your vines that suffocated me with the idea that you will fight for the love you feel too. 

Goodbye.