personal

Day 9: Defeat and What You Did Next

I found my self rehashing some events wherein I felt so defeated. Numerous fails and almosts in all aspects of my life and I don’t know why I’m still here. I call it set backs, a short detour prior to my best destination. There are times when I persevered so much and ended up failing… Maybe I just didn’t try hard enough.

The most unforgettable defeat moment I’ve experienced is losing the chance to graduate with honors in graduate school. I know I’m a little bit of a slacker compared to who I was in college but I know I did my part. I almost failed my managerial accounting class because of a cheating case that screwed a lot of folks — including me. It was terrible knowing that I am not that kind of person. It got resolved and we’re able to graduate. What saddens me though is when you try so hard to make things right and succeed, a setback is always in place. Not that I’m new to it, in fact I’ve been so used to this right now that I became numb when things don’t go my way.

I guess time plays a part here. At first you’ll feel myriad of emotions and from Okay to not Okay feels you’ll just find yourself happy again despite on what have happened. I see every defeat as a chance for me to do better or simply move forward because what else can I do. We can’t hold grudges forever as it ruins you instead of helping you. It’s not easy to accept defeat all the time but accept it eventually in time and just go through life and experience new adventures or another set of challenges bound to ruin your positivity in life.

Just. Keep. GOING.

It’s not the first time I’ve experienced failure. I’ve got a lot I tell you and even now it never stopped. I always encounter a lot of work frustrations that sometimes I’m about to give up. I even question my own leadership and intellect on why others can move their teams up while I’m plainly having a mediocre attainment. Maybe I’ve been mediocre whole life or maybe I’m just to proud of myself that I expect too much on everyone and too much for myself. It’s a journey still to accept defeat, to plan what’s next and to find your niche. Sometimes it is not working because it might not meant to work in the first place. We are all sucker for success but what if we are not destined to be successful at your corporate job but is bound to be in our passion. Who knows? We should not stop ourself from taking risks just because it didn’t go our way in the first place. We should keep going until we get used to the feeling of failing and still celebrate milestones achieved.

Don’t let your self doubt hinder your way to a better and productive future. All we need is to be self aware and make use of our strengths in our own advantage. It’s always a good battle regardless of the results if you did all you can to win. Life is not about winning, it’s about learning and experiencing — a realization I had after 28 years. I’ve been better in dealing with this now compared to years ago when I threw fits and hated God for not giving me what I want and what I think I deserved.

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03/20– Day 6: Life Is a Temporary Assignment

This world is not my home yet.

Verse to Remember: “I am here on earth for just a little while.” Psalm 119:19 (TEV)

I am guilty of this though. I am breezing through life in pursuit of happiness, that maybe someday my life will finally actualized in front of me when every sorrows I endured finally makes sense but I guess it will never happen here on Earth. I should have remembered that I am living on borrowed time and I should not search for eternity on Earth because it eternity is when I am with God. I realized how wrong my mindset was after reading this chapter.        I should not be too attached because I will not be here for so long, I am just a guest task by God to fulfill his intended purpose then I will be joining him in eternity after my limited stay here.

God gave me challenges, dissatisfaction, incompleteness and unhappiness to understand that this is not the finish line yet, where we are right now is not where it will all ends. Our stay here is a prelude for something great, we are made for that.

My life on Earth is just a temporary assignment. My happy moments right now is not even half as what is in store for me in heaven. Realizing all of this made my perspective a little lot twisted and I am now more positive in dealing with every challenges I might encounter. Again, I thank God.

My fellow lost souls, we should never cease in appreciating what we have as of the moment. God entrust us with his works but we should not fall in love with it for so long as we need to go home to where we belong.

So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but n what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary but what is unseen is eternal.” 2 Corinthians 4:18 (NIV)

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journal, life

09/11 – Day 293: Excellence

Our rewards in life will always be directly proportional to what we give to it. When I doubt myself, I just look at the product of my efforts in college and say: “You are good, that’s why you have me!”

Whenever I recall my senior life in college, juggling the best of my Computer Science days with our capstone project, web programming and all those kind of math that makes me sick plus being part of the yearbook staff and head of the Red Cross Youth I can’t help but to wonder how I survived it with flying colors. Oh and all those life dramas I have back then, seriously — that was rock bottom or should I say absolute zero of my life. I don’t know how I survived it victoriously but faith surely played its part too well. Thank you Lord… and all those things that have happened humbled me.

It made me more mature and I valued life to its very essence.

For the tears I shed, thank you. Without it, I will never be stronger than I thought I could be.

I trust God more today than I have ever trusted him before. I am rebuilding myself focussing more on my strengths and improving my flaws. I am more optimistic and definitely ready to whatever challenges that may come my way as I know that it will all happen for me to become the best version of myself.

To you I lift it all, my lord. 🙂

Our prayers are answered not when we are given what we ask, but when we are challenged to be what we can be. ” — Morris Adler

life

05/31 – Day 190: Leadership Book

I found a book that inspired me for the past few months but I am not able to finish it yet… I realized that being a great leader is a skill and a talent at the same time. And for some reasons, I give up on being a leader and just be a coach instead. Hoping my mindset will change over time or maybe this is just a product of a missed opportunity of becoming a leadership instructor, either ways, I don’t want to talk about leadership for the mean time. 😦

I’ll take time to read it again and be inspired to make things happen. Time will heal my frustration and time will strengthen me to become the best person that I want to be. I know that this is just another confusing period of my life. 😉

life

04/11 – Day 140: The Light

Today is one of my worst days, I would admit that but it never stopped me to look for something that made my day. I guess, what made my it awesome was a good cry and a positive mindset. There will be days that you feel worthless, days that frustrate you, days that make you smile, days to die for and days to celebrate but it’s how you just deal with anything that matters most in the end — it’s normal. Life is not always a bed of roses. We all deserve a good cry just to release all the pains away but don’t let it swallow the chances for you to feel and be great. I have always been positive despite my random whines. I am not the type of person who just gives up without giving a good fight whether I am or not even sure what will happen next as long as I stand in every decision I made. Today, despite the raging hormones, I still choose to be happy. 🙂