inspirational, journal, life, Life Blog, people

Just Because It’s Sunday … 08.10.14

Good morning says the sun and I’m in my room getting drowned by Spotify’s hottest tracks and my thoughts wandering into Nirvana.

I had an amazing dream that surely fueled me the energy to survive this day. My subconscious is telling me that I’m happy whenever we’re together doing nothing but laughing at each other and that we are always looking for good food. We look for food even in dreams.

Anyways, it’s not the meat of the matter here. You see I haven’t wrote about my feelings since last week perhaps. I am thankful for the positive changes in my life because I know I’ve wanted this. I admit I’m scared, idk if I can pull this out well. I’ve said that it was indeed a challenge accepted but I’m afraid if I will emerged victorious in the end. Of course, I will (ahuh ). I don’t want to pressure myself at all. I just want to enjoy my new role and I want to make the best of graduate school. I want to succeed in both worlds that I am in and even bargained  God for a love life. My choices do not totally define me but I like my choices. I am determined enough to compel my life to its betterment. Only few knows my story and despite my positive demeanor lies some untold stories, some skeletons I hide just because… I trust only few people and only few knows my drama because truth be told, I prefer my life to be private. I hate explaining my life, this is my life – who cares right? It’s meant for people who would understand but never for those who judge.

I am thankful though for people who’ve accepted me for who I am. I recently told someone special about my life, my so called dysfunctional life only to realized that he too is facing a somewhat like battle. He accepted my story and even offered to help. I don’t know if I deserved such a beautiful soul but I know he was God given. I’ve thank God for him because unconsciously he helped me in closing some chapters of my life and live it as chill as possible. He’s my muse, the boy behind my posts… the boy I won’t get tired of loving and caring, the boy I want to spend the rest of my life with if God permits it. I’ve let go and let God decides what’s best. I don’t want to push it if it’s not meant to be. In God’s perfect time, I’ll be with my the one.

I still fear the word commitment though but slowly I am embracing its beauty and why it’s necessary.

Anyways, I’m blabbering again. The gist here is to just let things happen and never forced it. Trust his will no matter how tragic is happening in your life. I came from a point wherein being strong is the only choice I have and here I am right now, stained but better.

I remembered what have happened last summer. I feel shitty… at wits end kind of shit. I did my best in graduate school only to realized I will never  graduate with honors anymore because of an academic issue I never intended to. I’ve learned things the hardest way and I don’t understand still why I deserved its consequences. I will not rehashed what have happened because of course… ill thoughts are poison that can kill my positive cells. I don’t hold grudges because its toxic so I rather forgive but never forget.

What’s the point of all of this, you might wonder. Yesterday, I was on my way to our classroom when I saw last year’s dean’s list. I checked my name but I was not able to find it. I shrugged it off because of course I know that my chance for the coveted honors no longer exist. I was literally shocked though when I found my name under the president’s list.

Lamb, Sharon Carol S.

I felt something within me. Elephants running amuck in my tummy and a sudden hangover like feeling. Oh shit.

Oh shit, again.

I’m not part of the Dean’s list but the President’s list — the highest amongst all and only 5 of us made it.

I want to rejoice but tidal waves of memories and my bitterness of what have happened last summer is splashing my conscious mind. I shifted from being giddy to early stages of depression. People congratulating me seems to be just bees buzzing, I couldn’t hear them because my thoughts were too loud as it screams away from the haunt of memories.

I thought I’ve moved on but nope, I’m in deep shit still. I guess I still can never get away from that feeling. Oh well.

Being accused as a cheater won’t define me. I know my worth. I know myself. I guess I’ll see the beauty of where I am someday when everything is well and it will all then make sense.

Here I am, drowned again by my thoughts and my emotions. I have lots of things to whine about but I have thousands of things to thank God for. Let me still fill the world with good vibes even if I have issues to face. It’s part of growing up, you know.  🙂

Until my next crazy post…

life, Life Blog, nature, travel, writing

Sipaway Island : Parana Private Beach Resort

It’s summer once again and I bet you’re looking for a good place to stay. All of us really do want to unwind and ’chillax’ as what most yuppies like me call it. It’s a typical summer day with friends. I daydreamed of lounging under the trees, enjoying the blue skies, letting the rays of the sun hit my skin while I’m sipping cocktails and listening to Bob Marley’s Caribbean Blue. Now it’s giving me a certain kind of high but my trip was not really like I imagined. There’s no shoreline, mostly concrete walls or huge rocks.

image

Anyways, before you all get started to get bored by my blabs, I just want to share to you my latest trip. I went to Sipaway Island in San Carlos City, Negros Occidental with my MBA classmates/friends to simply unwind and relax after a busy school year and of course a busy life at work. It’s a two and a half hour trip from Bacolod via Don Salvador Benedicto. We met up at Bacolod South Terminal and rode the Ceres Bus. You can choose a non – aircon or an aircon bus. Since we missed the 6am trip, we have no choice but to ride the non – aircon one which costs us 105php because we had our IDs thus student discount. It’s 125php for regular passengers. Unlike my travel experience to Sipalay, this trip is less exhausting maybe because I’m sleeping most of the time and missed all the breathtaking view in Don Salvador Benedicto which I appreciated better on our way home because I was wide awake the whole time. We arrived in San Carlos terminal at 9:30 and went directly to the market to buy our food and necessities. The tricycle fare costs 10php. It’s almost a 10-minuteboat ride from San Carlos port to Sipaway Island which costs 15php per head.

image

The trike from Sipaway Port to the resort also costs 15php. Parana Private Beach resort is owned by my MBA classmate’s highschool classmate. I forgot the name of the owner though.

The best word to describe the place would be cozy. It’s a good place to stay when you want to stay away from the hustles and bustles of our daily grind in our city life.

Highlights :

* It’s a private resort therefore you can do whatever you want to do there

image

* Cozy and clean cottages with utensils

image

* Nice and friendly caretakers
* A scenic view of the sea and Negros mountains

image

* Clear beach water

image

image

* Safe swimming area because of the walls surrounding it

image

* You’ll love the starfishes…

image

image

image

image

Lowlights:

* The island has no water supply.
* There’s no electricity, you need to pay if you would like to use the generator.
* No free wi-fi so better bring your own mobile broadband.
* Some areas are rocky so don’t expect sands like in Boracay Island

image

image

* Be careful of sea urchins…

image

image

Overall, it was a great experience. I was able to get away from my weekend routine. It’s either I’m at home or I’m out chilling with friends not wanting to go home until the sun slowly shines from the horizon. I spent one weekend away from my city life. We spent the night mostly talking, eating and drinking. We are totally focused, no phones to tinker or to check, no Facebook to update and no Foursquare to checked in to. There’s no technology involved. I remembered waking up early, no hangover or whatsoever just to see the sun rise. I walk around like a nomad… simply enjoying my lone time.

image

I always long for that kind of moment. I was just simply there, alone and all I can hear was Armin Van Buuren’s music in my phone enticing me to feel this moment I rarely feel back at home. My thoughts were drifting to nowhere. I feel so comfortable even if I’m alone. If only every day of my life is as peaceful as this, if only every single day is as chill as this and if only life is nothing but good vibes, no problems, no stress, no complications… if only.

image

life

12/04: Attending Class

I’m still working on my master’s degree in Business Administration and I still have at least 3 semesters to go before I finally graduate. I can’t hide my excitement.

Graduate school was really part of my plan when I graduated last 2010. I am weighing all the options if I really want to pursue a Master’s degree in Computer Science which of course will make me such a geek contrary to my crazy demeanor or pursue a Master’s degree in Business Administration which of course will give me a brighter future. I ended up with the latter.

I enjoyed my first semester in graduate school. It was a  breather to my everyday life.  It gave me a sense of normalcy that after three years of working in a world so far than I’ve ever imagined I finally found a direction.

I was able to find my path, my escape to my monotonous and lost life. I’m actually proud of my decisions so far. I’ve invested much towards my education because I know it’ll lead me to success if not then at least realizations that would lead me in finding myself.

image

I owe it to the company that I’m currently in my post-graduate studies. I don’t know if I’ll stay after I graduate but I’m still willing to give it a shot. I still want to grow in the company. I want to be promoted because I know I’ll be able to help.  Anyways, I won’t stop though… I won’t stop in finding a career that will make the best out of me. 

(Will be edited )