life, Life Blog, nature, travel, writing

Sipaway Island : Parana Private Beach Resort

It’s summer once again and I bet you’re looking for a good place to stay. All of us really do want to unwind and ’chillax’ as what most yuppies like me call it. It’s a typical summer day with friends. I daydreamed of lounging under the trees, enjoying the blue skies, letting the rays of the sun hit my skin while I’m sipping cocktails and listening to Bob Marley’s Caribbean Blue. Now it’s giving me a certain kind of high but my trip was not really like I imagined. There’s no shoreline, mostly concrete walls or huge rocks.

image

Anyways, before you all get started to get bored by my blabs, I just want to share to you my latest trip. I went to Sipaway Island in San Carlos City, Negros Occidental with my MBA classmates/friends to simply unwind and relax after a busy school year and of course a busy life at work. It’s a two and a half hour trip from Bacolod via Don Salvador Benedicto. We met up at Bacolod South Terminal and rode the Ceres Bus. You can choose a non – aircon or an aircon bus. Since we missed the 6am trip, we have no choice but to ride the non – aircon one which costs us 105php because we had our IDs thus student discount. It’s 125php for regular passengers. Unlike my travel experience to Sipalay, this trip is less exhausting maybe because I’m sleeping most of the time and missed all the breathtaking view in Don Salvador Benedicto which I appreciated better on our way home because I was wide awake the whole time. We arrived in San Carlos terminal at 9:30 and went directly to the market to buy our food and necessities. The tricycle fare costs 10php. It’s almost a 10-minuteboat ride from San Carlos port to Sipaway Island which costs 15php per head.

image

The trike from Sipaway Port to the resort also costs 15php. Parana Private Beach resort is owned by my MBA classmate’s highschool classmate. I forgot the name of the owner though.

The best word to describe the place would be cozy. It’s a good place to stay when you want to stay away from the hustles and bustles of our daily grind in our city life.

Highlights :

* It’s a private resort therefore you can do whatever you want to do there

image

* Cozy and clean cottages with utensils

image

* Nice and friendly caretakers
* A scenic view of the sea and Negros mountains

image

* Clear beach water

image

image

* Safe swimming area because of the walls surrounding it

image

* You’ll love the starfishes…

image

image

image

image

Lowlights:

* The island has no water supply.
* There’s no electricity, you need to pay if you would like to use the generator.
* No free wi-fi so better bring your own mobile broadband.
* Some areas are rocky so don’t expect sands like in Boracay Island

image

image

* Be careful of sea urchins…

image

image

Overall, it was a great experience. I was able to get away from my weekend routine. It’s either I’m at home or I’m out chilling with friends not wanting to go home until the sun slowly shines from the horizon. I spent one weekend away from my city life. We spent the night mostly talking, eating and drinking. We are totally focused, no phones to tinker or to check, no Facebook to update and no Foursquare to checked in to. There’s no technology involved. I remembered waking up early, no hangover or whatsoever just to see the sun rise. I walk around like a nomad… simply enjoying my lone time.

image

I always long for that kind of moment. I was just simply there, alone and all I can hear was Armin Van Buuren’s music in my phone enticing me to feel this moment I rarely feel back at home. My thoughts were drifting to nowhere. I feel so comfortable even if I’m alone. If only every day of my life is as peaceful as this, if only every single day is as chill as this and if only life is nothing but good vibes, no problems, no stress, no complications… if only.

image

journal, life, Life Blog, people

Some Good Friday Thoughts

Dear God,

It’s been a week full of shits and things aren’t working my way. It’s been a series of mood swings that I mostly blame to my raging hormones, well I hope I was right.  Last Monday night, I felt sick because of my weekend escapade. I swam like I never swam before and had my own moment watching the sunrise at the sea wall. I spent my time thinking and enjoying the calmness of the sea despite the cloudy skies. Thank you for allowing me to go and for having a safe trip. You are indeed awesome. I’m beyond thankful. I know you know what I mean.

I also had the time of my life last Tuesday when I got wet due to the amazing rain showers we get in the height of the summer season in the Philippines. I look silly when I arrived at work but who cares right?  Oh well. Guess what, there’s more… my bestfriend at work invited me for lunch and since I have to take my meds before the flu virus take over, I really need to grab a bite only to find out that he’s busy playing damn monopoly as if I don’t effin exist so I gracefully walked out. Guess what, after all those shits, I was ousted in my station due to hot seating issues at work. I need to recover my files and pull it up on a different work station and later that day I got humiliated because the alarm of our defective door  sounded when I swiped my badge and people propped their heads in the conference room wondering what’s going on outside. Not my day I guess… bummer.

Okay God, I know you’ve witnessed it all and I’m sorry for ranting over again but I’m just plainly bitter. I guess everything that have happened recently simply triggered my dormant feelings with regard to all the bullshits (excuse me) that I feel in this world. I’m kinda tired of understanding, of being simply patient and passive. I too have feelings. I too have an opinion. I am a true believer that life isn’t fair and will never be and for you to survive you need to learn to be patient. It took me lots and lots of time to realize that and I ended up better, more optimistic and definitely lighter because I got rid of unnecessary emotional baggages and hang ups. Crap.

God, I pray for more patience and more time alone to sort out my emotions. It’s Good Friday and I want to reflect.

I’m just human, I get pissed. I know it’s crazy but I’ve been the one who understands all the time, someone who is easy to talk to but here’s the tough thing in this story or should I call it the bottomline of my post — I can no longer recall the moment I felt valued. It sucks you know. I guess I’m longing for that kind of relationship, that one day I’ll have someone who don’t just understand me but would make me feel valued. I pray for that moment wherein what I want will be prioritized. I want to feel special in ways I never imagined that can actually happen. God, I’m sorry if I sinned. I’m sorry for my sarcasm. Maybe I deserved to feel like this today. Thanks for reminding me that I don’t deserved a love that treats me like shit whether it was intentional or not. Thanks for all the realizations and for the everyday miracles. Thank you for simply being there when I need someone to rant, whine and talk to. Thanks for making me believe that life is still beautiful. You’re one of a kind and I hope other people will appreciate and value you as much as I value you, my God.  Thy will be done. Amen.

Love,

Carol  ❤

23, journal, life, Life Blog

Wednesday Thoughts

“There is no such thing as failure just postponed success. ”

It was an excerpt on an article I read in Manila Bulletin regarding life’s purpose. It’s a mere sentence that summed up my thoughts with regard to my dilemma or should I say symptoms of quarter life crisis that is now taking its toll.

If you’re an avid follower of my blog which I supposed you’re not (haha) you’ll find my previous posts a little dramatic which of course is not really intended because those were just my thoughts poured into this electronic sheet of paper waiting to be published in a world where everyone has access to it — wow.

I am what I write so before I get drowned with my blabs let me share my thoughts about my life.

Nothing has changed still. I’m still lost and stuck with no better choices to choose from. I still have my sanity despite the problems I need to face at home and my career frustrations. Since yesterday, I’ve been thinking about how I managed my life. My grades last semester was actually a huge surprised. I don’t know if it’s pure luck or indeed a product of hardwork. I realized that I fell .1 shorter in nailing the president’s list — an award given to students who have no grades below 1.0. I’m not really competing nor dying to get that award because my main goal is to simply pass but then again I was almost there. I’m still happy with the results.

There was a point I doubted myself and my worth. Thanks of course to the company I’m currently working. I’ve given my best before but it seems that all those potentials were just put into waste. From then on I no longer believed that hardwork and intelligence do equate success. It’s how you play the game according to their rules. Oh well.

Anyways, I came to realized that where I am right now is not able to make use of my potentials. I’m so excited to channel myself to a job where my opinions matter and that I’ll be the game master. I’ve plans and I know how hard I work for my goals and for my people. When I mean business , I mean business. I may demand a lot but I make sure it’s reasonable. Whether you’re my friend or not or whether you’re hot or not, if you don’t meet what is expected then I’m sorry. It’s how I work.and I miss my old, busy and stress self.

Oh well.

I’ve considered myself a good player still abiding the rules no matter how stupid the game can be sometimes. Where I am right now and the dilemmas I’ve been facing is just part of a greater plan. I am currently not a failure. Success is waiting and I’m in the mood to chase it.

Life! 🙂

inspirational, life, Life Blog

The Underdog Theory

My mind is currently drifting with various thoughts and my urge to blog is killing me so might as well indulge myself in the idea of  opening WordPress while selectively listening in our class discussion in Marketing.

I’m right in the middle of brewing my mind in gathering thoughts about the case only to realized that I’m already daydreaming. It’s been a daily dilemma on what career I really want to pursue. Marketing is interesting indeed and I’m seeing myself on that road but with my ambivert personality and diverse wants… it’s too early to tell.

I know my capabilities, how I work around with my strengths and weaknesses and how I manage my life in all aspects. I believed that the best key to success is to know yourself and how you make the best of your God-given and blessed DNA. Experiences and upbringing also plays significantly in how we approach our lives. I am a cynical optimist, a living irony and a variance of two extremes. It’s my mission to fully utilize my potentials and make a difference in this world. It’s also my goal to find a path that will lead me to feel the fulfillment and eternal happiness.

Just to clarify, I’m generally a happy person. I’m the type whose prowess shows if deemed necessary. I’m not the show-off type who brags my achievements. I am not into the limelight but I know that if given the chance I’ll be able to manage it. I am driven with the belief that “What you can do, I can too”.

I am always the second option and an underdog. I don’t want to be the person people looked up to. I don’t want to be the benchmark. I want to be part of the crowd not the star…

I know I’m unique, a warrior with a brave soul and a person who is most unlikely to quit. I love how my mind works especially when I’m inspired and moved by various things or daily miracles. I am a free – thinker, a soul searcher, a person with adamant convictions and a person whose lust for travel and adventure is an addiction.

How to play the game the  underdog way :

1. Know yourself – indulge in the idea of experiencing life in various way to discover your strengths, weaknesses and hidden potentials.

2. Learn from other people’s mistakes and experiences – observe and see opportunities in other people’s lives. Be inspired with their stories, defeats and successes to help you out in dealing with your life as well.

3. Be humble – the best secret to success is never reveal everything that you know and never ASSUME. Don’t be too confident that you know something and end up being disappointed.

4. Loosen up – Stop pressuring yourself to be the best all the time. There will come a time that someone is way better than you so embraced your individuality. Chill. Buy yourself a beer or coffee when you want to.

5. Don’t quit Always choose to be the best version of yourself. Never gave up, continue to hold on and simply believe in your own prowess.  If you don’t have the gears then fight the battle using your heart. 

Everyday is an experience. Life offers various ways for us to discover God’s plans for us. All we need to do is be open to changes and embrace each challenges because it’s our road to self-discovery.

Always remember that when you’re on top, the only way is down so I rather be on ground zero and enjoy my rise to the top.

Be positive and enjoy your journey on the road to self-discovery.

inspirational, journal, life, Life Blog

Doldrums

After watching Jobs, a movie about the man whose vision I  have
always adored I felt so empty. A  rare feeling after watching an inspiring film supposed to be.

Steve Jobs. I love how his mind works and how he had changed the world. His brilliance is one of a kind, the kind I’m definitely envious of. Right now I’m in my room sulking in my bed thinking how my life is going so far. I would admit… I’m not happy with how I ended up to be.

I am a dreamer, an achiever and a go – getter. I hate comfort zones because I believed that there is no growth in staying that you learn to value what life is when you’re out there  exploring. I love freedom. I like to go to places alone. I love solitude. I hunger for experiences that will change me. I am bound to be great but then again here I am…

I’ve been working since 2010 two months after I finished my degree in Computer Science, after winning my most-coveted Corps D’ Elite award for outstanding club president and after spending one school year working for our class yearbook. I was at my prime yet again … here I am.

I’m thankful to have a job in an industry I really despised back in college. Yes, the industry I used to hate is the one feeding me and my family, it pays my bills and so as my graduate school studies. I’m thankful, of course. This is the type of job I never aspired to be in. I don’t see myself for the rest of my freaking life assisting customers who don’t know how to fix their mobile applications and their home security. It melts my heart whenever my customer thanks me for a job well done but it doesn’t give me the happiness and fulfillment that I wanted. I love my team, my colleagues who became my close friends and mentors I’ve met who have seen my potentials. I know what I am capable of doing and what I’m doing right now is not even 20% of what I am made to be. It’s not using my talents and skills. It does not give me the GROWTH that I hungered since day one. What I get actually are fun memories, bullshits and values that can help me in the future.

Maybe you’re wondering why am I still here.

An only child has no better choice but to be an heir of her parent’s problems. I too am not a bad child who can just leave my mother alone just for her selfish dreams. I know how much my mom sacrificed for me during the days when we’re about to lose everything. A child born in luxury never understands what life is until she had nothing left. I never learn to value things until I had almost nothing… and rebuilding it is the hardest part.

I don’t know how to save the ship from sinking. I don’t know how to be a captain. What I know is that I’m bound to be great and all this crap is not part of it supposed to be. I am strayed away from the creative path I longed to travel. I’m strayed away from my corporate dreams… of drinking coffee while discussing our next project, of living the cosmopolitan life and of working in a creative environment where my works are commended and my leadership is recognized. A life that I’m bound to be…

Sometimes as I looked back of how hard I really worked for my degree and those awards I used to get I feel so sad of where I am right now. I am a prodigy, a child full of wonder, a person my nieces and nephews idolize… used to be full of potentials and dreams now a bum who loves to chill, who drinks a lot of coffee and beer and sleeps a lot. My life is slowly fading away from me… I no longer recognized myself. I am programmed to stay where I am because I have family issues to fix, my mother needs me and work financed my graduate school studies which by the way is my ticket to success.

Oh well.

I have no idea how I’ll ended up to be. I have no idea until when can I hold on. I’m like an animal trapped in a cage looking at the possibilities behind the bars that locked me out from being great. I cannot just go out and explore knowing that there are people who needs me. I cannot be selfish… I just can’t.

I don’t know what’s the moral story of my blog post. Maybe all I can really say right now is to trust God and his will. He has plans for us and where I am right now might be just a prelude into something better. I cannot just lose hope right now. I’m an optimist, I see great things on difficult situations. I know I’m bound to be great and it’s all about perfect timings. I’m in doldrums waiting for something to happen. I’ll enjoy this journey full of uncertainty… I’m getting older and older as time passes by so might as well live my life to the fullest that I can and whatever situation I’m at.

Oh well.

I’ll keep on knowing myself, my passion… my dreams because it will be my starting point to my road to greatness.

journal, life, Life Blog

Status: It’s Complicated

Love  according to Merriam Webster is
a (1) : strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties
(2) : attraction based on sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers
(3) : affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests

and Romance is defined as
intransitive verb
1 : to exaggerate or invent detail or incident
2 : to entertain romantic thoughts or ideas

transitive verb
1 : to try to influence or curry favor with especially by lavishing personal attention, gifts, or flattery
2 : to carry on a love affair with

————————————–

It’s the time of the week again that I feel like talking and writing my opinions before I’m  drowned with my thoughts.

I’ve got lots of stuffs to do such as to read our books for my graduate studies, learn the basics of accounting and that desire to drink cocktails.

I’m stressed out because my emotions suck this past few days. I have questions longing to be asked since time immemorial. I want someone to explain to me why things didn’t work out. I want to get out of this crappy mess I’m involved with.

If only I knew…

Anyways, it’s either real or false reality.

It sucks to be the good friend when in fact you’re hurting big time. It hurts so bad you just want to disappear into the nothingness or maybe hit your head so hard you forget everything and no single emotions left.

It double sucks (if that’s even a word ) if you offer the advice they need when you’re the one swallowing your pride because it’s also the love you fuckin wanted from the start.

If only I can fall out of love but I can’t. No matter how hard I fight it… I just can’t. He knows I’ll always stay and that I’ll choose him over and over because he makes me happy in a non – chalant way. He accepted me for who I am and for who I am not. He makes me write like I never wrote before. He’s not the typical guy. He was heaven sent.

Love is a choice.

You cannot just sleep then wake up one day as if you haven’t feel anything at all. Love is accepting him for who he is despite his vices. Love is that warm feeling you feel when he smiles at you and that connection whenever you talk. It’s how our eyes gleam when we’re so engage in our conversations about life, work and family. It’s how we were that I just can’t forget. You made me believe that it’s all worth a second try… that you can be my prince charming. You’ll always be my “2012”

The Decision.

It’s about time I fight for my own happiness. I need to stay away from the girl even if I valued her as my friend. I’m not staying away because I’m guilty but I want to save myself from hurting over and over again. I’m crushed, wrecked and torn. I don’t want to see her so giddy because of you. I don’t want to see her so hopeful. I hate hearing her love shenanigans. Knowing the guy so well, he deserves more than a lost girl whom I know is a good person despite the loud mouth and her vices. She romanticize things because she’s the type who believes that every boy who hits on her is a potential prince charming. She ends up being hurt over and over.

I’m not like her.

I am strong willed, crazy, witty and the non-conformist. I don’t easily get swayed by sweet gestures or at least doesn’t show it. I don’t drink and kiss then prolly have sex with someone I barely new. I know the things I believed in, my convictions, my principles that are so traditional but I do not just take it for granted. I value myself and I’m doing everything that I can for my name not to be stained. I never begged for love and it’s so hard to tell him that I love him.

I do love him.

I don’t know where it all started. I fell in-between our laughters, our own moments and how sweet you can actually be without even trying. I fell because you cared too well. I don’t know what or how or whatever.

I just fell.

You became a part of me and I choose to be just your friend. I admit that I get jealous. I get jealous when I knew you’re together because I knew how much she loves you. I love you so much I just don’t know if you love me as well. I’ll not assume unless it’s stated even though I can feel it.

I know you like me.

I know you value me.

I hope you’ll choose me.  😦

It’s Complicated.

He values what she feels if ever we’ll be together.
He cares that we’re friends.

It’s so complicated.

journal, life, Life Blog, list

12/08: Being at Home

image

This are the days when I start to hate my work because I no longer have all the time to spend at home except of course for sleeping. I am now gathering all the words that I can get in my mind within 15 minutes because I need to prepare for work.

My work requires me to chat with customers and fix their mobile applications and home security. It’s a business-process outsourcing company, one of the leading companies in the Philippines and I owe my graduate studies to them because I availed their educational assistance program. The operations is 24/7 and my shift starts at 12am to 9am.  How cool is that?  Yeah right.
I’m glad to be at home today even if I spent most of my time in my room feeling the remnants of my flu crippling me. I hate that I’m sick for the past few days because of the changing weather that I was not able to do a lot of things. My body just can’t take it anymore but I do have no choice. I still need to go to work and school. 

I feel shit , I mean sick.

Anyways, today I must say is still awesome. I just need a few minutes to feel my existence at home.

image

Check out little Christmas Tree!  🙂

image

And how happy we used to be… I miss Dad  and how healthy Mama was. This picture was taken 20 Decembers ago.

Love,

Chillerspot ❤

journal, life, Life Blog, list, people, writing

12/03: Being Alone

I stumbled upon an anonymous quote online few days ago which states “The best way to be happy with someone is to learn to be happy alone that way the company will be a matter of choice and not necessity.

This was so true that I reblogged the quote on my Instagram and Tumblr account.

Most people nowadays seem to be swooned with the idea that you need to have someone to take care of you and that being alone can sometimes be pathetic. I used to feel that way, I must admit.

It’s pathetic to eat alone because others may think that your date stood you up.
It’s pathetic to watch movies alone because who watch movies in cinemas alone? It’s scary and creepy sitting alone in the dark wherein any moment there’s someone who’ll just inject you something and you woke up the next day with HIV — one of the worst thing that can happen in a movie theatre. It’s pathetic to travel alone because people might think you’re heart broken and simply needs to wander alone to find yourself.

People can sometimes conform to what society thinks. Unfortunately, I’m not part of the majority.

For the past few years, I learned to love myself. I was a hopeless romantic behind my tough demeanor. I used to ask why I love someone who doesn’t love me back and why can’t I love those who love me. It’s been one hell of a depressing cycle. Oh well, it’s over now.

Today, I’ve never been happier and comfortable with myself. I realized that I am my own competition. I accepted my flaws and worked on my insecurities.

December 3 and I’m celebrating my life alone but definitely not lonely. I treated myself in a nearby hotel just because I want to. As what Paulo Coehlo said, “Do whatever you decide to do, but make sure that it makes you happy. ”

image

Embrace your awesomeness my dear and learn to be a little bit nice to yourself. 

Much love,

Chillerspot ©

christmas, journal, life, Life Blog, list, people, writing

12/02: Yearning the Past

I guess I spent most of my time today either sleeping or reminiscing. Today will be another ordinary yesterday when tomorrow comes but I won’t let this moment pass.

I won’t let this day drift away. If only I record what’s on my mind right now, I will. It’s nice to go back during the times when you don’t worry anything. Those times when we’re still on diapers and does not even understand what responsibility and adulthood means. You don’t worry so much of getting old as well as your financial needs because someone is taking care of you. You have your parents caring for your needs and wants and all you need to do is cry when you’re hungry and smile — the one that melts people’s heart.

I’m currently 24 and I’m simply reminiscing how it is to be a child again. If only I can gather all those baby memories again, I’ll surely do.

image

My life so far has been interesting. I like how the way things in the past made sense today. Life is beautiful if we train our minds to see the positives in every difficult situation.

29 more days before the year ends , let’s all be awesome!

Love,

Chillerspot ❤

christmas, life, Life Blog, list

12/01: Doing Nothing in Your Room

It’s actually awesome when you’re actually doing nothing and just let your mind day dream while your body does not worry about work, graduate school and all the others problems life has to offer.

I’m glad I still have all the time to do nothing but rest.

image

Let’s start December by simply chilling.  🙂