personal

Day 9: Defeat and What You Did Next

I found my self rehashing some events wherein I felt so defeated. Numerous fails and almosts in all aspects of my life and I don’t know why I’m still here. I call it set backs, a short detour prior to my best destination. There are times when I persevered so much and ended up failing… Maybe I just didn’t try hard enough.

The most unforgettable defeat moment I’ve experienced is losing the chance to graduate with honors in graduate school. I know I’m a little bit of a slacker compared to who I was in college but I know I did my part. I almost failed my managerial accounting class because of a cheating case that screwed a lot of folks — including me. It was terrible knowing that I am not that kind of person. It got resolved and we’re able to graduate. What saddens me though is when you try so hard to make things right and succeed, a setback is always in place. Not that I’m new to it, in fact I’ve been so used to this right now that I became numb when things don’t go my way.

I guess time plays a part here. At first you’ll feel myriad of emotions and from Okay to not Okay feels you’ll just find yourself happy again despite on what have happened. I see every defeat as a chance for me to do better or simply move forward because what else can I do. We can’t hold grudges forever as it ruins you instead of helping you. It’s not easy to accept defeat all the time but accept it eventually in time and just go through life and experience new adventures or another set of challenges bound to ruin your positivity in life.

Just. Keep. GOING.

It’s not the first time I’ve experienced failure. I’ve got a lot I tell you and even now it never stopped. I always encounter a lot of work frustrations that sometimes I’m about to give up. I even question my own leadership and intellect on why others can move their teams up while I’m plainly having a mediocre attainment. Maybe I’ve been mediocre whole life or maybe I’m just to proud of myself that I expect too much on everyone and too much for myself. It’s a journey still to accept defeat, to plan what’s next and to find your niche. Sometimes it is not working because it might not meant to work in the first place. We are all sucker for success but what if we are not destined to be successful at your corporate job but is bound to be in our passion. Who knows? We should not stop ourself from taking risks just because it didn’t go our way in the first place. We should keep going until we get used to the feeling of failing and still celebrate milestones achieved.

Don’t let your self doubt hinder your way to a better and productive future. All we need is to be self aware and make use of our strengths in our own advantage. It’s always a good battle regardless of the results if you did all you can to win. Life is not about winning, it’s about learning and experiencing — a realization I had after 28 years. I’ve been better in dealing with this now compared to years ago when I threw fits and hated God for not giving me what I want and what I think I deserved.

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