Oh Well.

It’s been quite a while since the last time I blogged here in WordPress. I would admit that I miss it. January is really one hell of a month and I’ve been so stress that even my health is degrading but I need to face the battles head on. Oh well. — as what I always say.

My career direction is not just one thing that bothers me but the status of my heart as well. I have been single for 23 years and I am fine with that. It’s been a decision that I made because I just wanted a real relationship and knowing myself, I am not the type who easily commits unless I am 200% sure enough that he’s the one. I broke my heart several times and the first time was actually the most life changing one. I’m tired of retelling my story because it’s been a decade ago and I am totally over my best friend. It was the first and last time I cared too much for someone and it was close to a real relationship. Again… OH WELL.

It’s been a tough life time, a series of events that made me better and miserable but then again what matters most is that I am still standing still and feeling stronger right now.

Today, I’ve fallen in love and I am too scared of what will the outcome be.
I’ve fallen in love in between our laughters and shared stories.
I’ve fallen in love because he made me feel special and trustworthy.
I’ve fallen in love just because he’s one amazing person that you just simply need to unravel.
I’ve fallen in love because I can be real without him judging on how crazy I look and instead just laugh at it.
I’ve fallen in love because at the end of the day I realized that he makes me happy and I know I make him happy as well.
I’ve fallen in love without knowing the exact reason why but one thing I am sure of… this love feels so right.

And what scares me the most is that… he might not feel the same way even if his actions do speak louder than those “3 words”. Lord, I swear if he finally looks at me in my dumbfounded state – eye to eye and tell me that I am special… I’ll never let go of him because I am never sure of committing to someone until I met him.

Oh well. 🙂

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