journal, life, work, writing

08/03 – Day 254: Motivation

I am not saying Mario Maurer is my inspiration to go to work everyday. Let’s just say I am just being poetic today.

Too many questions running in my mind as of the moment. I would admit I no longer have the drive to pursue what I want to be in the company where I am right now. I don’t know, I already set my mind to leave. I no longer have the interest to stay and grow because of what have happened in the past, the daily retrospections of things that I want to do versus the things I need to do… it’s been a cycle of dramas not development and fulfillment. I know what I can do, what I can offer and what I want to happen in my life. I am lost in the wilderness of life. This is another hard phase in my life because I want a lot of things, I want to exhaust my skills, learn more about myself and just simply enjoy what I am doing.

Yes, I can see growth in where I am. It’s just a vision though. A vision without implementation… a vision without inspiration. Just vision.

What’s my inspiration to work today? — a question I always ask myself.

Random crazy things pop in my mind but upon checking again, those things are usually superficial like seeing your crush, eating your favorite food in the pantry and the random talks shared with friends. I want to wake up each day excited to go to work because it’s my passion, it’s what I want… it’s what I dreamed. I long for that day. But I am blessed to have a job right now compared to others who struggle to seek for a company who would accept them. I am trying to think things over, not closing my mind to what I have as of the moment can offer. I can feel the fulfillment whenever I help someone resolving their issues, I can feel the simple joy of my daily life at the office. There’s something missing though… but it doesn’t really matter as I can live with it.

It will give me more periods of thinking and pondering.
I just want someone to motivate me and let me see that if I work hard there’s future on where I am right now. I am already tired of motivating myself because no matter how I motivate it sooner or later bad things happen and I need to start over. I don’t seek appreciation and constant attention, I can live my life unnoticed. I just want someone to remind me of my significance.

To be honest, I want a job that can help me inspire other people, I always motivate people to be the best version of themselves. I want them to discover that they are awesome no matter what others say. I believe in people’s potentials. We are all gifted but it’s how you use those gifts that matter in this world. Show the people what you got… never cease believing in
yourself. We are all AWESOME. 🙂

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