life, work

03/28 – Day 126: FTW

FTW. For the Win!

I will not take all the credits. I was actually dumb-founded when I found it posted in my station. Seriously? I don’t remember performing but my team did. I mean the last quarter of 2011 was tough. It was more of emotional vs. mental torture, career confusion and work frustration. I was even subject to gossips and trash talks that someone who thinks she knows me since childhood. Nevertheless, I don’t care.

One thing I hate the most is that people pretends to know you, make stories without proof and thinks you’re not capable or competent enough. I don’t engage into something that I am not capable of and I don’t need to brag what I know nor the awards I received just to prove my worth. People judge you by your numbers but you know your strengths and weaknesses. I don’t care what people say about me, what I care about is on how to be a better me.

Anyways, I am happy that my efforts were recognized. I may not be the key contributor to our team but at least I did my part. I would admit it was so hard to motivate yourself every single day at the work place when all you want to do is to simply give up, quit and find your niche to a different place. My supervisor even told me that my performance was based on my emotions which is actually true. I am doing this for my family because they want me here in Bacolod and not for myself. This is not my dream job but I do care to be my best at the work place. I want to share what I know. My main goal last year is to prove to that trash talker that I am better than her beyond the numbers. Being questioned with your own capability is the worst insult one can get. I did not perform because I am passionate about it but I was fueled by revenge. Good thing, it worked.

In retrospect, everything fell to where they should be. Today, I can say that I am stronger and better. I was able to surpassed the pain that that experience caused me. I am not a hypocrite if I would not admit that I was hurt with what have happened before – that was my worst, being questioned of your own capability and competency. I am egocentric — I never denied that. When people questions my intellect it’s actually a different story. I may appear to be stupid and just a crazy kid who pretends that life is a bed of roses, well I rather be known to be that way because when you’re smart people expects a lot from you. What I know is that I commit into things that I know I am capable enough.

Life is good. Embrace all the things that is happenening in your life even if they bring joy or tears. Learn from all the experiences whether good or bad as someday it will just simply make you realized that it was indeed meant to happen for you to be better. Be a team player and a role model. Invest in good karma and do your work as honest as you can and try to be your best no matter what. It’s not easy I certainly know the feeling but it will be worth it in the end.

To my previous team, kudos to all our hardwork. We made it because we did our best without even trying so hard… we just enjoyed our work, even on my worst days I just tried to enjoy it. Let bygones be bygones… I am happy today and I don’t care what other people will say. Judge me, I did not exist to set your expectations. I’ll just do my job as I am paid to do it and hopefully I’ll begin to start loving it whole heartedly.

They say that the secret to success is not to reveal everything that you know. Seriously, that’s how I play the game of life. I don’t reveal everything about me… it’s for people to know. 😉

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