journal, life, work, writing

02/10 – Day 79: Perspective

How do you see the glass?

For some, it’s empty; for others, it’s half full.

As time passes by, my perspectives in life had changed. I know that there are more dramas to come but I always try to think of positive things rather than sulk in one corner and wishing that my life would end too soon. I appreciate the little things more, the ones that cannot be seen and the ones that only your heart can feel. I can finally say that through the years I am now mature enough and more independent.

Life offers thousands of reasons for you to hate it. I, on the other hand as a lot of reasons to love it despite the struggles. Think of it this way, if life is too good to be true where will all the fun be? Where will all the realizations of how awesome life is go? When will you realized that life is beautiful despite the mess?

Sometimes, all we need to do is make use of our senses. We need to open our eyes into different opportunities that may come our way. Recently, I need to decide whether to continue what I started before or just be in the safe side wherein I already master the routine. I decided to be on the safe side and waited for another sign. The sign never failed me. It took a lot of rigorous thinking and one sleepless day for me to decide whether I will take the opportunity again despite the emotional turmoils that I’ve been through for the past months. It was not easy trying to rebuild the self-esteem that was lost. It feels like I am not worth it, not efficient and capable enough even though I know that I can and I don’t need to brag what I achieved prior to being part of this work force. I am not the perfect student before but I know I never failed to be a student servant. I don’t want to be called a student leader… I did not just lead, I served. I may not have the highest position at school but I lead a club where its members are just volunteers. They are not there for grades, they are there because they have the passion to serve others wholeheartedly. It was not easy… not as it seems.

I don’t know what the future beholds with the decision that I will be making but one thing is for sure, I will take the opportunity and see what will happen next.

I just want to try again and redeem my broken ego.

Whether I get what I want or not… either ways I win. I just don’t want to regret it someday — I just need to try again. I was sincerely happy when I decided not to apply anymore. My teammates are amazing and I love working with them. They are bunch of people whose desire to excel is amazingly done without putting too much effort and we are lead by one amazing person who never fails to motivate us. My decision indeed is bittersweet. I know the workload is far more different but I am no longer apprehensive. I am just scared but I never doubted my skills. I know I can it’s just that I am plainly lazy and always on my comfort zone. I need to be bold and determined that if I want something to happen, I need to be tough and make things go the way I wanted it to be.

Even if your perspective in life is too sunny… sometimes you really need to expect the worst. Always try to focus on the positive things that life has to offer but always be cautious though… life is full of surprises so you better be prepared for the twists and turns of events. Never be complacent enough. Whatever the outcome of my choice will be, I am prepared.

Life is a matter of perspective, life is a matter of choice too. I choose to be happy! 🙂

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